A lot of people say that the reason why they decided to live-in with their partners or get married is because they're bored of being single. In my case, I'm tired of being left alone or being alone - as what I felt when I was single. I needed a distraction during the silence of my life. Silence because when I'm alone, I have no one to talk to. And because of that, I eloped, got myself pregnant, got married, gave birth, raised my son with my husband and parents... and then, I noticed how time went by so fast that I missed Akio's movements in my womb. Right now, I noticed that his tall body will outgrow the crib where I placed him after putting him to sleep.
For a year I tried to destroy my slowpoke actions. I felt like I was born at the wrong timeline. It took me hours just to wash bottles, do the hand washing of laundry, dish washing, and confused when I'm being ordered by my parents while I had a task in my hand that I forgot to go back to. Sigh! But one thing that made me turn back time is doing cross stitching once more. This hobby can be pursued while my son sleeps or busy playing his toys. Things that I used were easy to hide when I have to attend at a finally awaken rascal. I might need an art studio if I go back to painting and will have a hard time to look after him while I skate or teach any first timers on ice. And even though I want to go back to being a volunteer at AAP, I have to wait for my son to grow up and let him decide if he likes anime, skating or not at all. I hope he will.
My husband may not be perfect, but he loves me. Even though he has to live with my in-laws for working in a place that's a walking distance, he would visit my son and I during his day off. I love the way he bonds with me and my son, with me and with my son. He may have his flaws, but I learned to love when I know his reason. I could not reason with my parents, but I could reason with him. I can pour a dam of tears that I kept like a volcano would. He's there for me to hold on to while I cry on his shoulder.